I was bored, so I decided to give awards…to languages. Presumptuous of me, isn’t it?

Coolest pronunciation: Russian
Coolest script (Roman): Turkish
Coolest script (non-Roman): Georgian
Coolest alphabet: Cyrillic (cursive)
Best diacritics: Latvian
Most top-heavy diacritics: Czech
Goofiest grammar: Romanian
Cutest grammar: English
Needs a revision in orthography: Danish
Needs a different alphabet altogether: Polish
Choking hazard: Arabic
Spiciest: Persian
Language for thinking happy thoughts: Italian
Needs to tone down the umlauts: Swedish
Language of flowers and gardens: Sanskrit
Best cursing language: German
Most subject to linguistic butchery (at least in the U.S.): Spanish
Biggest should-have-been: Esperanto

And, finally, a couple of special awards.

The Oh-dear-I-hope-you-are-not-drowning Award: French
The I-seriously-admire-anyone-who-masters-this-language Award: Chinese
The I-wish-it-were-the-world-language Award: Finnish